Arrested Development (TV series) - Wikiquote
"I hope I didn't confuse people by saying it was a CD burning party?" - Maeby Michael, discussing 'secular' matters with Mrs. Veal, "Meet The Veals". "I want to. Lucille: If you're saying I play favorites, you're wrong. .. got some evidence and she's threatening to bring down the company unless we meet her demands. "Meat the Veals" Directors: Joe Russo — Writer: Barbie Adler & Richard Rosenstock He then quickly corrects himself, saying that he forgot that he was in the states, See more quotes from "Meat the Veals" at Transcript of Meat the Veals.
Tell me the truth, okay? And a lot of love. You know, Lindsay, as a therapist, I have advised Well, did it work for those people? No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but Oh, this guy again. How is he, doctor? It looks like he's dead.
The tears aren't comin'! The tears just aren't comin'! Uh, just to be clear: It just looks like he's dead. He's got, like, blue paint on him or something. But he's going to be fine. What is wrong with you? I'll let you celebrate privately. Tobias went to a try-out for the Blue Man Group hoping to be seen. Unfortunately, it was dusk, and he couldn't be seen. What did he say? Tell me the last thing he said.
He said some wonderful things. Well, I better get over there before he brings the whole company down. It's only been three hours. How much damage could he really do? It's not fair to Buster. He's a nervous wreck right now. He's going into the Army, for God's sake. I knew you were going to throw that in my face. I want you out of the house. Oh, I want you everywhere. I just want my kids back. I'll leave when I'm good and ready.
I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot your wife is dead! We have a private eye, huh?
Oh, I hired him a hundred years ago to find out if your father was cheating on me. He never did find anything. Buster was finding himself right at home.
I used to have a shirt just like that. Lucille had given it to Lupe. And the hand chair! I had one in my room! I wonder where that went. It went right there. Well, load her up in the car.
Is there any way I can divorce them? Both my parents are trying to have affairs. What are you doing home? Army had half a day.
I think George Michael's hiding Ann in the attic. Here comes John Wayne. I'm gonna build an airport. Put my name on it. So you can fly away from your feelings? As a child, Buster had a beloved parakeet. But after landing on his mother's housekeeper's head, it flew away. And into a transformer. When Buster found out, he destroyed the family's kitchen, believing this to be where Rosa lived. I'm going to throw on a skirt, take off my underwear, and make your Pop-pop proud!
I have Pop-Pop in the attic. The mere fact that you call making love "pop pop" tells me you're not ready. He already failed day camp. I totally freaked out in front of that prosecutor today. Like a little girl. In a little dress. Wow, that does sound like a little girl. My mom is very stressed out, and uh, she needs something that I can't give her, um Oscar thought that Michael was referring to a particular brand of cannabis named Afternoon Delight, a strand famous for slowing behavior.
Well, sure, the question is: Which way do I try to get it in her? I don't need any details. Maybe I'll put it in her brownie. I did the right thing, Michael. If I don't fire them, how do I teach a lesson to the others?
There are no others. Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. The only thing I ask is, out of the homes we build, one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city. So the other families live in fear?
Is that what we're saying? We lost our entire outfield, and a couple of court cases. You know who would be great—and not at all litigious—is Ann. Queen For A Day [2. Meeting women who didn't give birth to you. So you take your mom to work every day? Moms are such a pain in the ass, huh? I have the afternoon free. My wife is humiliated. This is my chance to right the small wrong that I did. You shot her in the ass with about four ounces of horse tranquilizer.
But now is my chance to be a hero. My back is in knots. I haven't had a massage since prison. Hope that was forced. Ready, Aim, Marry Me [2. I think that makes the joke on Gob. You bought Lindsay at the same auction. I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
I tell you, you can sink your arrow into my buttocks any time. Okay, you know what you do? You buy yourself a tape recorder, you just record yourself for a whole day. Do you have any idea how often you say the word "afraid"? Well, I know I did in the jacuzzi. And I apologize for that. I thought it was a pool toy.
Arrested Development 4/3: Meet the Veals | NeoGAF
On the next Arrested Development, Tobias listens to a day's worth of his own recordings to see what Michael was referring to. Nothing wrong with that. That's out of context And he realizes there is something distinct about the way he speaks. Hey, fake Uncle Jack. Well Gob doesn't do anything for the family I'm [bleep]ing Lucille 2!
I could do something like that Out on a Limb [2. You know, mother Lucille, there's a psychological concept known as denial that I believe you're evincing. It's when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it.
You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent. Well, if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.
That's the first time we were in the shower since our honeymoon. And this time, no tears! Hand to God [2. Excuse me, are you the Bluths? He's going to be all right. Finally, some good news from this guy. There's no other way to take that. That's a great attitude. I gotta tell you, if I was given this news, I don't know if I would take it this well. He's lost his left hand, so he's going to be all right. You son of a bitch. I hate this doctor!
The cow is coming after me. What about her cans? She have big cans? You don't remember her at all, do you? Hey, it was one night of wild passion! And yet you didn't notice her body? I like to look in the mirror. Of course they have father-daughter dances. He never took me? It was before we did your nose. You've got to be the laziest person in the world. And Steve Holt finally tracks down his real father. I've been wondering my whole life who he is.
A scientist, a doctor, a senator? Well, we got some bad news. Is that what's gonna happen to my hair? The Sword of Destiny [2. I'm finally being treated like a real person. I forgot about that there, Elephant Man. We'll have to find something to do so that people can look at you without wanting to kill themselves. My baby is sick, but Mother is here to nurse you.
Michael, I've been looking for you. Looks like you're looking for dragons Meat the Veals [2. They had a pre-dawn mass. Then they were going to mass, so Don't you think they're a bit too young [to get involved]? Well, we got serious around his age.
You gotta lock that down Due to poor acting, the burden of the story was placed on the narrator. Perhaps an attic shall I seek. Well, gee, I never thought the woman I'd be checking out at spring break would be Mom. She's better looking than the whores you date. Don't call my escorts "whores. Mom's still got it! Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Hey, look at that.
Shall I knock Dad out and chain him to a pipe somewhere, or should I risk another herpes outbreak with Kitty? Which is it this time, Michael? Well, definitely neither of those two things. Gob had hidden his father under a house that had just collapsed.
Season 3[ edit ] The Cabin Show [3. Pardon me if I don't burst into tears, Michael. At least he promised to take you. Well, I will tell you this, Michael: But if I ever do, I'm either going to take him to the cabin in the woods, or I'm going to promise to take him and then not take him.
But the one thing that I will never do is not tell him that I'm taking him to a cabin in the woods, and then not take him! Gob was growing up. There's only one sleeping bag, so we're going to have to double up.
Pigs in a blanket! Sorry, pal, something came up. It is worse to know. Gob was getting life lessons all over the place. We did it, Mikey! And I'm going to buy a car.
No, Lindsay, you're not going to start spending money.
Oh, that's from sitting on the copier. Michael, I've got nothing. My husband dumped me and ran off to Vegas with Kitty, that bleached-blonde whore. He's definitely got a type. I can't believe he left me. Glad I didn't spring for color. For British Eyes Only [3. We've got a picture of you with Saddam Hussein.
I thought, I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi. I told him how much I liked his work. I was wondering if you might be willing to go somewhere with me.
I would pay you. Then I shall let you live. Steve Holt's not my son. That's my son, you pothead! Michael did try again with Rita, but this time determined to keep no secrets. I want to tell you everything if I'm a very good listener. Start with the misdemeanors and then, we're gonna' push right on through to the lighter treasons. Hey, can you do me a favor? A young neighborhood tough by the name of Steve Holt will be dropping by, and And a DNA test. I heard the jury's still out on science.
Don't ask "can I? You can control your bladder when you're dead! No blood, no oil! There's no "I" in "win"! Besides, I already got George Michael the big present for his birthday Dad, is it Jack Welch?
I want you to look under the pants. Dad, I hope you kept the receipt. You want to return that? No, I want to deduct it. Hey, maybe that's it. Maybe we should do to the Japanese what they do in their movies. Build a miniature city, put it outside the window, tell them it's far away. It'll look real if you squint. God knows they're squinters. A whole, tiny town. Another brilliant idea, Einstein. You'd like to build it with me?
Larry really never knows how to sell the sarcasm. It's a stupid idea. The Ocean Walker [3. Are houses terribly hard to make? Actually, the hardest part is finding the land. But she wasn't smart Instead of making houses, maybe you should make land. There's no land on the ocean.
Michael might have noticed her disability if it had not been masked by her English accent. So Michael used a line that was just as corny.
You know, I think that we should wait until after we're married. Took me long enough. Maybe you're not smart, either! I didn't know until they told me. Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange? And how about that little piece of tail on her? I've opened a door here that I regret. Oh, he's just talking about his stupid turtle. She has a name, Mother, and it's Mother. I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture.
Making a Stand [3. And that goes into storage, right? Not into your apartment. I've got this Christian girlfriend now and she's trying to get me to be a better man and reconnect with my son and I'm trying to get her to renounce God and [bleep] me and I just want to prove to her that I'm worth it.
Loblaw no longer works for us because someone wanted a boyfriend. I was talking to Lindsay, actually, but he was clearly turned off to the both of you. You know, Mom, I think the only time you cooked for us was the morning Rosa's mom died.
- Meat the Veals
- Arrested Development (TV series)
You gave us cereal in an ashtray. I just pray it's one of those things where he's unconscious through the whole trial and when he wakes up he gets BIG toy! Did you do this, Mom? Did you put one of your own sons in a coma so he wouldn't testify?
Michael, how dare you! Although the thought did cross my mind. They'll call me up on the stand, say something like "who is this little friend? My name is Judge. Whose name is Judge? That's a silly name! Yes, I am judging your name. Oh, now you're correcting my grammar?
Arrested Development 4/3: Meet the Veals
Gob, not going to put Franklin on the stand. And your lips are moving just a little bit. The real problem is that she keeps saying that God is going to show me a sign. I can't stand to hear one more lie out of this family. Michael Okay, but that's the last one. Let me go with you.
I was trained by Army. I speak the language. No, I was just clearing my throat I should call the Hot Cops and tell them to dress up as something more nautically themed.
Or better yet, hot seam— Michael: I like hot sailors. It was Arrested Development.
Season 4[ edit ] Flight of the Phoenix [4. I was mistakenly voted out of a four-person housing situation in a "pack first, no talking after" scenario. They're the ambiguously gay duo. I assure you there's nothing ambiguous about me. I'm Johnny Storm, the human flamer. Is there a little girl here all by herself? And perhaps it was this that would finally get him to admit that he sometimes did speak in a misleading way.
My husband dumped me and ran off to Vegas with Kitty. That bleached blonde whore! A group of British builders operating outside the O. I did not know they meant Iraq. I mean, what are we, Amish? You know, your average American male is in perpetual state of adoscence, you know, arrested development.
Honor Buster tomorrow night. How is that even possible? I just wanted him to think we did. I drugged him not to go all the way with him. He assumed Rita was using the word bleep in the American sense, meaning weak or cowardly.
In fact, Rita meant it in the British sense, meaning sweet or gentle. Is that another one of your new Britishisms? Maybe go for a run. Do some guy stuff.
Is it like a Christian thing? I lie to yours all the time. It would have been such a nice moment. F" "I hate it when they get Yanks to play Brits.
Michael might have noticed her disability earlier were it not for her British accent. Of course it crossed my mind. But this was all Buster. I thought he was dating again. Farmer, taking care of Buster "I thought that you were going to Any man would be lucky to have you. Girls just grow faster than boys. Family sticks together, huh? What say we give them no choice but to keep themselves all together for a while? It's just that he's not interested in you. I've seen that in movies.
It looks like fun. Bat her eyes in Morse code? You're too liberal with the word 'legendary'. It's going to be legendary! Not for the 'sit around and wait of happiness'. Don't you ever read my blog? Why don't I want that more? There are new women turning 18 every day. You do realize that 1 out of every 8 adult women in America is a prostitute.
Sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake, you gotta make it anyway. That was last night. But I was drunk! There's no way Claudia's been drunk for three years.
I'm willing to give you a shot at one of the eights Was it my fat cousin Lindsay? Don't be embarrassed, she has pretty eyes.